Why We’re Adopting

We are adopting because of me (Her). I never wanted to be pregnant. It’s all me, I’m the bad person. I think that if you want to be pregnant and have kids that way, that’s cool. I’m just not part of that group.

I was in foster care for a time, so I know that there are plenty of kids that are looking for forever homes. I also know that you don’t have to give birth to someone to love them deeply. There are so many people in my life that guided me through my youth. Without those people I would not be as sane as I am (I guess that’s not saying much! Lol) and I would not be doing the things that I do.

I’m not sure how I want to approach the conversation when it comes up. It seems like many of the other adoptive parents have arrived at this option as a last resort. This has always been our first, and only, option. I don’t want to sit around with people and talk about “getting over” not being able to have a baby of their own. I don’t have any stories about medical tests and IVF rounds.

Is there anyone else out there that is choosing to adopt as a FIRST choice?

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8 thoughts on “Why We’re Adopting

  1. I just stumbled across your blog & was going to comment about getting families on board. We’ve been married 20 yrs, have 2 teens, & have had our new daughter home for a year & half now…& there are a few family members who still aren’t “on board”. They don’t say it…but they don’t say her name (it’s not American-sounding), they don’t ask about her or for pictures, ect. Fortunately we don’t live anywhere near them, but it makes me mad….she is entitled to her family, & every child needs as many people in this world to love them that can. Anyway…… Adopting is NOT a “consolation prize”!! Since entering the world of adoptive parenting, I’d say a good 30% of those I know (both in “real” life & on the internet) chose adoption over bio-birth. I always planned to adopt, I’ve always been pulled to it, “called” even. And this child that came into our family was a PERFECT fit to us, it is as if she has always been one of us. I can’t relate to unfertility, although I understand it can be heartbreaking, I can’t relate & part of me thinks “so? move on!” (although I would never say that to someone!). I hate that some people assume my daughter is with us because she’s all we could get….let me tell you, we got the prize! Best wishes on your journey!! BTW, I absolutely love the grey nursery!

    • Thanks for making me feel like I’m not a fruitloop! Lol I have also felt like saying “move on” to someone. I hate that so many people come to adoption as a “since we have no options left, I guess we’ll adopt” mindset.

  2. I always wanted to adopt – never wanted to be pregnant. I was 13 when the Iron Curtain fell, and I saw a 20/20 special on the Romanian orphanages. That’s when I decided that I was not going to birth children, but adopt them.
    By the time I was grown and married, Romania was closed. We arrived at domestic adoption, open to a child of any race.
    Now, as it happens, I do have a medical condition that makes pregnancy a big unknown. It wouldn’t be a good idea. But I never wanted to be pregnant anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal.
    Yes, adoption was our first choice!

      • No, I started talking to friends who are adopted. I received a strong support for adoption and an even stronger advice against adoption from the adult adoptees.

        I am going to adopt in 2016. Right now I am still defining the terms of adoption. I want to ensure the child has as little difficulty as possible. Open adoption seems to reduce much of the anxiety. I am leaning towards opem adoption.

        But, a big but.

        Is it right for me to adopt only if the child’s parents are accessible? What about children that are orphaned or abandoned (found in bins, churches, bushes)?

        It is a question that I am trying to find an answer to. Does a child with traceable biological family deserve to be adopted more than one who does not have links to family purely because the adoption will be less difficult psychologically?

  3. It seems like having information about one’s history, even if one cannot meet one’s family, is helpful. There seem to be so few actual orphans though.

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