I read a lot about how upsetting it is when strangers ask how much your kid cost.
Um … why the anger?
When you go to adoption boards all that we talk about is how much it’s going to cost. Is it an issue of semantics? Are we concerned that people are looking at us with scorn as if we’re “baby stealers” or gasp! “baby buyers”? Guess what, we ARE buying our babies. Now, right about here is where I’ll get all the “I didn’t buy my baby, I paid for the process that brought them into my family”. Yeah … do you know what semantics means?
I’m not sure why people get so upset about it. We all know that adopting costs money. That’s why there are organizations that help adoptive families with adoption costs … because it costs money. Cash. Dinero, Gouda.
My partner is trying to explain that it’s not that adopting doesn’t cost money it’s a) the way they ask (intentions are everything) and b) why they ask (intentions again). He thinks that if people are genuinely asking it’s not so bad. Maybe they want to adopt. Maybe they have a story to share. I guess that’s true. He’s definitely the more level-headed one in the family.
How do you feel when/if people ask you how much it costs to adopt?
Also, families that are the same ethnicity, do you feel you get asked about how much its cost to adopt more times or fewer times than families of mixed ethnicity?