First Adoption Interview Did NOT Go Well

So … we went on our first adoption interview for the county last week. I haven’t been posting because that two hours made me rethink if I want to continue with the process. Everyone told me not to worry, but I should have been much more worried than I was.

I didn’t know that it would be a panel interview

When we got there we were taken to a room with a table, chairs, and a small couch. We sat at the table and waited for our interviewer … which turned out to be two interviewers. One lead the questioning while the other sat and digested our responses and body language. I definitely felt like every answer was taken apart and every movement was noted.

I didn’t know that I would be talked down to

The interviewer asked us if the “po-po” ever  came to our house,rephrased an aswer that refered to a spanking from childhood by asking about “after your mom got a swtich … “, and complimented me by letting me know that I am “very articulate”.Uhmmmmm …. riiiiiight. Is “po-po” a professional term? No one mentioned anything about a “switch” and … why would I not speak well?

I didn’t expect to be told to attend therapy

As soon as the interviewer heard “foster care”,”family mental health issues” and “sexual abuse” the interview was over. I was told that I would need to attend therapy. Um …. come again? I was in foster care as a child (and that was maaaaany moons ago), my family has a history of mental health issues but I don’t, and the sexual abuse I experienced as a child has never interfered with my life. On the one hand I understand that they want to make sure I’m “okay” (whatever that means), but on the other hand I’m a little offended.

The whole process made me feel really uncomfortable. My sister thinks that I should ask to work with a different case worker. I just feel like maybe this process isn’t for me. I had no idea that I would be made to feel so … badly …





5 thoughts on “First Adoption Interview Did NOT Go Well

    • Apparently, the interviewers were temporary and I guess that’s why they were in teams? Anyhoo … they are both gone and our adoption worker hasn’t mentioned any of that again.

  1. That sounds really discouraging, but if this is something you want to do and feel strongly about you should continue. Find another case worker, maybe ask if there are also parents who have gone through the process that would be willing to talk with you/help out getting through some of the bureaucratic work.

    Don’t give up!

    • Thank you! We haven’t given up and we’re still working through the process. Two other people from our class have been matched with 2 kids each! Eek!

      Hopefully, we will be matched soon. =) Thanks for the encouragement.

  2. >> I don’t know what the difference in cost is, though. <<

    Costs are usually low and are usually waived by the court once the adoption is finalized. Plus there's the tax credit, that would cover any costs.

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