Having a Family-Focused Family

The other day at the thrift store I ran across a book called On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. I was drawn to it because it promised I would “learn how over 500,000 babies were trained to sleep through the night the natural way”.

I have been around babies all of my life and I know that helping a baby get to sleep is equal parts knowledge and luck so anything I can add to my arsenal is fine with me. In the first chapter the book talks about creating a home that is welcoming to the newest member of your family, but not centered around the newest member of your family. Is this a new idea?

Of course a family is going to have to adjust for its newest member, but the baby is going to have to do some adjusting too. I have read about attachment parenting and I just don’t get it. Creating a world where your baby is the center of your family’s universes is crazy. Crazy I say! The book also makes this point. How will a child learn to be a part of the family, the community or the world if it believes that everyone and everything exists to fulfill its needs immediately?

That doesn’t mean that one should ignore a baby’s desires to be fed, be changed, or have play time. It does mean that the parents and other loved ones also have needs and sometimes their needs come before the baby’s needs. The book gave a great example of a toddler wanting to hang out with the parents during “adult time” and the parents having to explain to the toddler that it was adult time and that they would be in after a few minutes.

I’m not done with the book, but I’m really enjoying it so far. What say you? What parenting style do you think works best?

 

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