Why I Don’t Accept My Sister’s Foster Kids

One of my sisters has 4 biological kids. She just took in 4 foster kids. There are 8 kids living in her house. She has taken to calling all of them her kids. I refuse do accept them as my family.

If she wants to raise them then that is her business, but they are not related to me and I don’t pretend that they are. Having this experience has really helped me understand why some folks in our family might not want to acknowledge our adopted kid(s).

I don’t wish them any ill will, but they are not my family. I am very clear on who I accept into my circle of trust and I keep that circle very small on purpose. My family consists of almost no blood relations (we’re a small biological family and most of them are dead now) so it’s not an issue of who was born to whom.

I can’t explain it except to say that in the pit of my stomach I don’t want these kids in my circle. I had to accept that some people in our family may feel the same way about our kid(s). Life is so interesting. You never know what will happen next. Sometimes things happen that surprise you.



5 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Accept My Sister’s Foster Kids

  1. Wow, that’s … hard to read.

    Would you accept them if she adopted them?

    If/when you adopt, do you plan to “pretend” to be related to the child (since that is how you are describing loving and accepted an adopted child)?

  2. That’s a good question. I don’t think so. The kids that she’s taken in are kids from the neighborhood so I’ve know them, and disliked them, for about five years now. I don’t care for them or their family.

    I feel like she’s neglecting her kids in order to “play” with these new kids (she has 4 boys and the new kids have a teen aged girl). She knows how I feel about them. I’ve spoken about them before they lived in her home and my views haven’t changed. I support her decision to choose to have the kids in her home, but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept them as relatives of mine.

    Our adopted kid(s) will know that we are not biologically related. I don’t intent to lie to them about that. I’m also of the belief that “family” is who shows up for you. I would like to think that my family could build that relationship. If our extended family chose not to accept our kid(s) then that would be their choice.

    • Well, yeah, if you already knew and disliked them, I can see why it’d be hard to accept them … your original post, however, doesn’t make that point, just that they’re not biologically related to you or your sister.

      • It’s hard to decide how much to post on a public blog! Lol This family and I have a history. When I visit my sister no one from the block comes to visit her because they know I don’t like them! Lol I usually visit a few times a year but now …

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