One of my sisters has 4 biological kids. She just took in 4 foster kids. There are 8 kids living in her house. She has taken to calling all of them her kids. I refuse do accept them as my family.
If she wants to raise them then that is her business, but they are not related to me and I don’t pretend that they are. Having this experience has really helped me understand why some folks in our family might not want to acknowledge our adopted kid(s).
I don’t wish them any ill will, but they are not my family. I am very clear on who I accept into my circle of trust and I keep that circle very small on purpose. My family consists of almost no blood relations (we’re a small biological family and most of them are dead now) so it’s not an issue of who was born to whom.
I can’t explain it except to say that in the pit of my stomach I don’t want these kids in my circle. I had to accept that some people in our family may feel the same way about our kid(s). Life is so interesting. You never know what will happen next. Sometimes things happen that surprise you.