My Mind is Opening: Openness in Adoption from Foster Care

I found the Open Adoption book at one of those dollar book stores and decided to try it out. It’s a really interesting book. It talks about open adoption from the perspective of the birth parents and the adoptive parents which is nice. The book talks about the birth parents choosing the adoptive parents and how each side is afraid of the other side, but over time they join sides and become one family.

Sometimes that relationship is really tight-knit (like siblings) and sometimes that relationship is a little less tight-knit (like 2nd cousins) but family is family all the same. When we started looking at adoption I thought that I would never want to hang out with the birth parents. I thought that the birth parents would judge our parenting and try to disrupt the relationship that we would have with the child. Over time I’ve seen that this is, usually, not the case.

I have no idea what our future holds, but I’m hopeful that our child will have a relationship with their birth parents. Since we are adopting from foster care that relationship may not be physical (the birth parents may not be ready to have a healthy relationship with the child) or it may be. I hope that there will at least be an awareness of each other as family.

As the child gets older, I hope that they will begin to have their own relationship with their birth parents. I don’t know what relationship will look like, but I hope it’s a good the relationship that they will have a la The Odd Life of Timothy Green.



One thought on “My Mind is Opening: Openness in Adoption from Foster Care

  1. I know several people who have adopted from foster care who have open adoptions. Often, these aren’t with the parents, but with the extended family – grandparents, siblings, aunts, etc.
    When we first adopted our son (privately), his birthmom did give us a lot of advice, and said things like he’d never like peas because no one in her family liked peas. I just let it slide. We can’t do visits because we’re so far apart, so I don’t know if seeing her would have made things different. In any case, it stopped after awhile. Oh, and my son loves peas now.

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