I have nothing to add to the great way this birth mom, or “tummy mummy” as she calls herself, spells it out ….
What I have noticed in all of these profiles are some very similar themes. Now, I don’t know if there are “requirements or elements” that have to be satisfied in these, but they all feature pretty much the same things. I am sure that the point of the profiles is to showcase themselves at their very best, perhaps to fufill the “picture perfect, fairy tale ending” for a baby in order to attract a birthmom. Nice house, nice cars, always tons of hobbies, and I notice that these profiles always mention that they live in a “fantastic school district”. There is always the charming “About Us” story, where they met and fell in love at first sight. And then there are the crazy pictures of the couple with random kids…nieces, nephews, neighbours…and always at some fantastic place like Disneyland or the ocean, or a big carnival. And then finally…my personal favorite…the “About Husband from the Wife” and vice versa section. Sometimes I just shake my head and thank God I will never have to do that. I cannot imagine the stress and the frustration that must come in having to think all that up.
I never looked at L* & M*’s “little book”. Looking back, and realizing how much effort probably went into it, I often wonder if that upset them. I told them from the start that I was more interested in seeing pictures of them after they had been wide awake and unshowered for three days. Or dragging all of those “nieces, nephews, and neighbour’s kids” through Wal-Mart at 9 p.m. to do grocery shopping on a budget. Or when they were busting at the seams from a cold and a migraine, and still having to get up at 7a.m. to try and find a missing shoe or a homework packet. I wanted to know that they fought like normal people from time to time, and that they didn’t have white furniture, and that their house could get messy. I secretley hoped that they too had to deal with a crazy ex wife, or anything that would make them more real. Even after telling them that, they ALWAYS maintained their “Best Behaviour”. But why…? They knew I was giving them a child…they knew I would not change my mind…and they knew I just wanted them to be normal people who would love this baby more than they loved themselves. But the plastic facade remained. And it is currently sitting in thousands of hopeful couples profiles. Personally…I think its bullshit. I understand the logic…but I still think its bullshit.
I. Love. This. Post.
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