My eyes started welling up reading this post. Even when you think that you’re kid is too young to understand or doesn’t think about their birth family … you’d be surprised what kids are thinking, and will speak, when someone gives them a safe space to talk about it. Please read the blog of one birth mother that had her parental rights terminated and has an open foster care adoption when you get chance. Here’s a bit of a post she wrote about her 10 year old daughter asked the question so many birth parents, and adoptive parents, are afraid to hear:
Ashley came over my house this past weekend for a visit. I was very excited, because this was the first time I would be able to cook dinner for her since she was removed from my custody. It’s the little everyday things we take for granted when we are parents, that I miss the most. I planned on making what used to be her favorite dish, and was even going to show her how to make it. We picked up the supplies from the store and I got right to cooking. She was my helper, and did more chasing of Tyler than cooking, but that was a help in itself!
As I was mashing the potatoes, Ashley came real close, and quietly spoke. I could tell she was nervous, and I know why now. In a shakey voice she asked, “Mom, did they say I couldn’t come home or did you not….um…um…” I dropped the masher, I knew what she was trying to ask, she wanted to know if I didn’t want her. Now I was nervous. I turned to her, placed my hands on her little shoulders, bent down and looked her in the eye and said, “Ashley, I love you so much, and I always wanted you to come home, but they wouldn’t let me have you, because I was sick, but it wasn’t your fault, and I love you more than anything in this whole world.”