Children Spacing and Adoption


Parents that choose to adopt may not have as much control over when new kids arrive, but sibling spacing is still important. The Alpha Parent has a great post on sibling spacing as it relates to families that are birthing their children (lots of talk about being pregnant and whatnot). The information was interesting, but I wanted to read about sibling spacing as it relates to adoptive families.

I came across an article on The Attached Family about siblings spacing hoping that it would provide some much needed perspective on the special sibling spacing in adoptive families. It did provide a lot of information about sibling spacing, but more importantly it reminded me that sibling spacing might not be the most important thing:


Of course sibling spacing is important, but maybe it’s not the only thing. What choices did you make about sibling spacing in your family? How did your parenting style help or hurt the spacing?



2 thoughts on “Children Spacing and Adoption

  1. My sister and I are 19 months apart. We’ve hated each other since she could crawl under the table and bite my toes. When I looked at my friends and cousins, it seemed that the kids who were about 3-4 years apart liked each other the most. We wanted to adopt again when DS was 3. However, DH was out of work, so we had to wait ’til he was 4. We then didn’t get matched with DD’s birthmother until DS was 5, and DD was born when DS was almost 6. So, they’re almost 6 years apart. It’s been very hard on DS. He was the only child for so long, and then this baby comes… She can’t play Legos, she can’t play soccer, she can’t DO anything! She has to take naps, so there are play dates we have to turn down, places we can’t go, and so on. He loves his sister, but it’s been a difficult adjustment.

  2. My brother and I are exactly 2 years apart. We always fought growing up. We’re not that close but I think it’s because we don’t really have anything in common. Although we get along now when we’re together. My hubby has a younger brother 4 years apart and they are so different. Actually, his brother is exactly like mine.

    We had artificial twins 4 months apart last year. It was horrible having toddler twins that were both only children before being thrown together. Throw special needs into the mix and you get the picture.

    I think there’s a reason mother nature won’t let you can’t have kids less than 9 months apart. I do know of some families who make it work, I just recommend having them at least a year apart for your own sanity.

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