Just read this article on preparing boys to be fathers and I’m love, love, loving it!It makes sense that if we want men to be good fathers we need to teach them what that means and how to do it.
Men have a responsibility, too. We need to talk to our sons about being good dads. Just like forming a good baseball player begins with catch in the backyard, forming good dads must start early in life. The Census tells us that 24 million children live in homes without their biological father. But limited engagement by fathers affects even more children. When we start by telling dads their role is secondary and provide few social supports to prepare them to succeed, it’s easier for them to go than stay. It’s even easier for new dads to throw themselves into their work and forget the positive influence they can have on the future of their children.
I am intentional in teaching my oldest son to care for his siblings. I purchased him that baby doll to help him prepare to be a good big brother, and eventually a good father.
He makes a great point that women are welcomed into the cult of motherhood with advice on, “strollers to daycare, and breast pumps to diapers. There were baby showers, childbirth classes, even celebratory dinners” while fathers get a “congratulations” and then relegated to secondary parent status. It’s true. Check out any book, magazine or website for parents and what you’ll end up with is a book, magazine or website for mothers. Ugh.
Some say it’s because men aren’t interested in parenting. I wonder if that’s because since they were small we’ve told them that babies are for girls and being nurturing isn’t manly …. hmmm. I wonder if after spending 20+ years being told NOT to engage in a particular way it would be hard to totally reverse yourself. That doesn’t mean that fathers don’t do it. I think we, as a society, just make it hard on them. You should see the looks and comments He gets when he wears our baby in public ….. or plays with him in public …. or does anything with him in public! Lol
Anyhoo … cruise on over and read the whole article yourself.