Do You Celebrate Birth Mother’s Day?

Birth-Mother-Adoptive-MotherI woke to find an article about celebrating Birth Mother’s Day on my Facebook timeline. For those of you that don’t know, there is a day set aside the week before Mother’s Day to celebrate and honor the woman that gave adopted children life  …  and it kinda sucks.

First off, let me say that it’s taken me a lot of reading and trying to see the perspective of others in the adoption triad (the child, the parents) to get to this place. As I see it, a person that gets pregnant and does not have an abortion is a mother. If a woman gets pregnant and has a miscarriage she will grieve for that child as any mother would. If I knew about a friend that experienced that and she seemed like she would like to participate, I would honor her on Mother’s Day. If a woman gets pregnant and gives birth but the child is still born or dies she will grieve as any mother would. If I knew about a friend that experienced that and she seemed like she would like to participate, I would honor her on Mother’s Day. If a woman gets pregnant and gives birth to a baby that is taken from her or she chooses not to parent for whatever reason, she will miss that baby. If I knew about a friend that experienced that and she seemed like she would like to participate, I would honor her on Mother’s Day.

In our house, I talk of our son’s parents casually and mention his mother often. We didn’t get a chance to meet her but I want him to know that thinking about, and missing, his parents is okay. It’s okay for him to feel and it’s okay for us to talk about. Mother’s Day seems like the perfect day to celebrate and honor the woman that gave him life. We don’t celebrate Birth Mother’s Day because there’s already a day for that …  it’s called Mother’s Day.

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