Maori father and child.
“Remember that being a father is a life-long commitment: Your role as a father starts before pregnancy and continues throughout your child’s entire life. As your child grows, your relationship will grow and change. Children need to know that you will always be there and will always love them.”
Zulu father and child.
I saw these great photos of “indigenous” fathers with their children and wanted to share them.
Xingu father with child.
Take a look at all the photos here.
Anthony Blue, Sr. with his father and son.
I ran across this article on BlackDoctors.org that talks about the image above. It says:
“This was a photo that I took for my father last year for Father’s Day. It’s a display of love being passed down through the generations. Our family loves hard and everyone knows it. My father showed unconditional love to me, my twin brother, and my sister, and I want to pass it on to my son. We call it, Blue Love.”- Anthony Blue Sr. [pictured with father Aubrey and son Anthony Jr.).
There were some pretty messed up responses to this photo that I won’t reprint here but suffice it to say that some Black men were NOT feeling this image. BlackDoctor.or says:
In an unofficial poll, a Facebook user conducted a survey of Black men and came with these results:
Out of roughly 179 Black Men:
77% had never had their father say the words “I love you” to them
64% can’t remember the last time they said the words “I love you” to another man
39% think that kissing their father or son can make them “soft” or “less than a man”
24% think there’s nothing wrong with kissing and hugging their father or son
My husband kisses my son all the time but my son is two. When I asked him about this photo he said thought he probably wouldn’t take one like it, he didn’t see anything wrong with a father showing his son that he loves him.
We know that boys and men have just as many feelings and emotional needs as girls and women. When boys learn not to express any emotions beyond anger and happiness, we are setting them up to fail. I hope that this image will encourage other Black fathers to show their kids that they love them.
Just read this article on preparing boys to be fathers and I’m love, love, loving it!It makes sense that if we want men to be good fathers we need to teach them what that means and how to do it.
Men have a responsibility, too. We need to talk to our sons about being good dads. Just like forming a good baseball player begins with catch in the backyard, forming good dads must start early in life. The Census tells us that 24 million children live in homes without their biological father. But limited engagement by fathers affects even more children. When we start by telling dads their role is secondary and provide few social supports to prepare them to succeed, it’s easier for them to go than stay. It’s even easier for new dads to throw themselves into their work and forget the positive influence they can have on the future of their children.
I am intentional in teaching my oldest son to care for his siblings. I purchased him that baby doll to help him prepare to be a good big brother, and eventually a good father.
He makes a great point that women are welcomed into the cult of motherhood with advice on, “strollers to daycare, and breast pumps to diapers. There were baby showers, childbirth classes, even celebratory dinners” while fathers get a “congratulations” and then relegated to secondary parent status. It’s true. Check out any book, magazine or website for parents and what you’ll end up with is a book, magazine or website for mothers. Ugh.
Some say it’s because men aren’t interested in parenting. I wonder if that’s because since they were small we’ve told them that babies are for girls and being nurturing isn’t manly …. hmmm. I wonder if after spending 20+ years being told NOT to engage in a particular way it would be hard to totally reverse yourself. That doesn’t mean that fathers don’t do it. I think we, as a society, just make it hard on them. You should see the looks and comments He gets when he wears our baby in public ….. or plays with him in public …. or does anything with him in public! Lol
Anyhoo … cruise on over and read the whole article yourself.
Kayne West chillin’ with daughter North West (I know …. smh).
What a great quote from Kanye West (never thought I’d say that! LOL)!
“Family is super cool. Going home to one girl every night is super cool. Just going home and getting on the floor and playing with your child is super cool. Not wearing a red leather jacket, and just looking like a dad and shit, is like super cool. Having someone that I can call Mom again. That shit is super cool.”
I’m always happy to hear a dad talk about how cool it is to be a family man. Good for him. What quotes do you like from father’s about family?
“Black males are rarely depicted as wholesome human beings capable of love, affection, or vulnerability, which consequently influences the images we associate with black fatherhood,” said Lee.
I’ve talked about this guy’s work before because I love it. He takes photographs of Black men out and about with their kids …. doing things that dads do … simple. He has a new book coming out called Father Figure. According to The Hundreds, it’s “a collection of black-and-white photos and stories addressing stereotypes surrounding black fathers in America, namely by mainstream media”.
In my quest to find books that my family can see itself in I’ve browsed many a book on fatherhood. Most books have white men in them. A few have token people of color with Latinos, Asians and Black men sprinkled throughout. Most of the books are directed towards middle class and upper middle class stereotypical dress, haircuts and situations. Though we are middle class, we don’t fit that mold.
We are hip hop loving, non-religious, world travelers that can be found in suits (for work) basketball shorts (when we chill). We have crazy haircuts (He is growing out his fauxhawk and now has a nappy, lopsided afro) and wear t-shirts emblazoned with political slogans. Zun Lee’s book is for my family.
It’s filled with images and stories that directly relate to my life. The men are often dark skinned and tall. They rock baggy jeans and timbs. They have locs and facial hair. You can see the love they have for their children in the way that they hold little hands and embrace little bodies.
The book comes out September 19th, but you can order your copy HERE now.
I love, love, love books! Finding books about same-race adoption and fatherhood have been difficult though. When I find books that fit into either category I’m ecstatic and can’t wait to share them. In that vein, here is a short list of wonderful books about fathers of color:
Oh, Oh Baby Boy is a great book about fathers and sons of color.
A book for English and Spanish speakers about a father’s relationship with his son.
A collection of stories about Black fathers.
A book about the relationship between fathers and their children.
A boy and his grandfather are very close. When he moves away, the boy’s memories help the boy adjust.
There are more books on the list of 9 Multicultural Children’s Books About Fathers over at I’m Not the Nanny. Check ’em out!
We were out and about today and I took this photo. I have no commentary. I just think he’s cute and amazing and I love him and …. I wanted to post it. =)