Family Preservation Bill 5456

family-preservation

I read about bill 5456 at MommieJonesing.com. The post says:

This bipartisan legislation aims to keep kids safe and supported with their families to keep them from entering foster care and makes reforms to reduce the number of children in foster care who are placed in group homes rather than in a family-based setting.

I’m all for that. As someone that aged out of foster care and has adopted from foster care, I know that helping a family learn the skills necessary to keep a family together is important. Tearing a kid away from their flesh and blood doesn’t help anyone, least of all the child. When parents are willing to be helped, society should make an effort to help.

It passed the House of Representatives and is now in the senate. Find your Senator here and send them an email.

 

 

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Adoption Placement Paperwork Signing Scheduled

Parenting-After-AdoptionOur adoption worker just called to schedule our adoption placement paperwork next month! Whoo hoo!

After we sign and they get everything over to the courts, she said we’ll be able to finalize in about two weeks! It’s all so anti-climactic. You spend so much time filling out paperwork and walking on pins and needles to make sure everything is going well and then you get matched and then you have a kid in your house and it’s weird and then ….  it’s not …. and you kind of forget that this kid is still in foster care and then you get a call saying that this is it …  you’re going to officially …. formally … legally … be a family and it’s bananas!

It’s just a phone call.

A phone call …   that changes everything and nothing. We’ve been living together and loving each other for a year now so that doesn’t change … but …  it’s official and something does change. It’s so odd. It’s like a wedding day …  the joining of two families. It’s not the wedding that’s important it’s the marriage and I know that parenting this kid for the next 50 years will be scary … and amazing ….  and consuming ….  and enjoyable … and things I can’t even imagine right now …. but all I can focus on it that day … that actual day …  we will legally become a family.

Social Worker Says Not to Worry

The baby’s social worker came by today (we’re adopting from foster care) and explained a bit more about the termination of parental rights snafu. She said that the judge wants to make sure that the “t”s are crossed and the “i”s are dotted but that we shouldn’t worry because:

  • The parents/family have never seen this baby.
  • The parents/family have stated on multiple occasions that they do not want to parent this baby.
  • The parents/family haven’t shown up to court appearances.
  • The parents/family haven’t made any effort to engage with the baby (not even photos).
  • The parents/family aren’t even returning phone calls anymore.

All we can do is wait.

*breathe*

 

Termination of Parental Rights

This Thursday the child that we picked up from the hospital months ago will have his connection to his parents severed. In the foster care to adoption process, this will take us one step closer to finalization. In his life, this will take him one step further away from his biological family.

On the one hand, I’m excited that we are moving closer to adoption. On the other hand, I feel sad that this wonderful little person was born into a situation that did not allow him to know/live with his biological family.

Feeling Faces Tachometer for Kids

I read a review of Planes Fire and Rescue at Adoption at the Movies and it gave me the inspiration to create a feeling faces tachometer. If you want to know why please read the review on Adoption at the Movies. If you’d like to view the amazing feeling faces tach, please forge ahead!

These are the materials I used. They are all things that I found around the house. #UpCycle

These are the materials I used. They are all things that I found around the house. #UpCycle

Materials:

  • Print out of feeling faces tach that I made in Fireworks
  • Cardboard from baby mittens wrapping
  • Old business card
  • Scissors
  • Bronze fastener
  • Elmer’s spray glue
Cut out the tach and glue it to your piece of scrap cardboard.

Cut out the tach and glue it to your piece of scrap cardboard.

Cut out the tach.

Cut out the tach.

Color a long stripe on the business card. You'll use this for the arrow.

Color a long stripe on the business card. You’ll use this for the arrow.

Cut the red stripe off. Cut the two top corners off the top. Viola! An arrow!

Cut the red stripe off. Cut the two top corners off the top. Viola! An arrow!

It would have been great if I would have though to bring my hole-punch earlier.

It would have been great if I would have though to bring my hole-punch earlier.

Place your arrow where you'd like it on the tach and punch a hole.

Place your arrow where you’d like it on the tach and punch a hole.

My tach is happy that this project is complete!

My tach is happy that this project is complete!

Here is the feeling faces tach that I made on my computer in case you’d like to make your own.

Feeling-Faces-Tachometer

Don’t forget to check out the movie review over at Adoption at the Movies.

Relationship With First Family

Family-Tree-Adoption-Means-FamilyI just finished reading this article by a birth mother about the relationship that she has with her daughter and daughter’s family. This si the kind of relationship I’d like to have. Since we are adopting from foster care I don’t know if this will be possible, but I can hope.

The author mentions that:

They are more than I could ever ask parents to be- loving, caring, supportive, strong, stable, beautiful souls. They’ve kept contact open since the day they brought her home, and thank me every time they see me for “everything.” We exchange emails, pictures, news, and stories. I love them with every bit of strength I have.

I cringe whenever I hear an adoptive parent say that they have the child that they were supposed to have. It makes me feel like they think that a child and parent being separated is okay because it ended, in their minds, well.

We’ve chosen to adopt from foster care in the hopes that we can provide a stable family for a child that was not meant for us, but needs …. someone. I also hope that the biological family of that child will still want to participate in their life even if they can’t be the stable family that child needs. It takes a village.

Everyone Has Ethnicity or STOP Acting Like Black Hair and Skin Are Wierd

EthnicityI spent a lot of time reading about foster care and adoption. That means that I read a lot of things about white people caring for children of color. One of the common themes is hair care and skin care. I’ve seen:

  • How do you care for ethnic hair?
  • How often should I bathe my AA son/daughter?
  • What kind of lotion is best for AA skin?
  • What kind of shampoo/conditioner should I use for AA hair?

It’s really not that serious. I’m gonna tell you a secret: Black children are part of the human race and ALL humans have skin and hair that need to be taken care of. Also, ALL humans have ethnicity. “Ethnicity” isn’t some kind of code work for people of color (yea .. I see you). Being “white”, whatever that means, doesn’t stop you from sharing a culture with people in your geographic location, income status, etc. White people from Biloxi, Mississippi have overlap with white people in Los Angeles, California but there are also differences that might cause people to say that the ethnic group that southerners belong to might be different than the ethnic group that west coasters belong to.

On the one hand I’m glad that white people are making an effort to make sure that the kids in their care aren’t walking around looking like who shot John … on the other hand it makes me very uncomfortable that there seems to be a feeling that children of color are SO DIFFERENT physically that there needs to be this massive effort to understand these alien beings. Sheesh!

Video I found on Shine about transracial adoption:

The only solutions I can come up with are:

  • Make friends that are people of color so white people can see that we’re not so different.
  • More families of color need to do foster care and adoption.

Foster-Parent-Recruitment-Black-Latino