Sometimes when you mention that you are in the process of adopting, people will go out of their way to share the horrible story that they know about their brother that adopted .. .ugh. I know they are trying to be helpful, but sometimes it’s nice to hear something good about adoption.
Toward that goal, I’d like to share with you two good comments that have come my way when I mentioned that I was adopting. One was from an acquaintance and to date is the nicest thing that anyone has said to me about adoption. The other is a story that my cousin told me.
I get to travel all over the country and work with groups of people (vague, I know). If those groups like my work then they will usually hire me to return the next year. If I’m really lucky I get to go back multiple times over multiple years. The woman that made the comment is someone that I know through work as I’ve been to her site a few times. She just found out that she is pregnant with her second child.
We were talking after a long day and she was telling me about her pregnancy and I was telling her about our adoption process. I know that sometimes people like to make a big deal about the different ways that families grow, so I didn’t want to make our conversation weird. When I mentioned something about me not being a parent or not being pregnant (I can’t remember verbatim) she told me, “You don’t have a kid yet, but you are expecting. You are expecting to parent a child”. It doesn’t seem like much, but just the acknowledgment of my upcoming parenthood really touched me. She was the first person to talk to me like this adoption is going to happen and I’ll be a parent. It felt really nice.
You Should See Him Now
My cousin just told me a story about a friend of hers that adopted her sister’s son. She was telling me that the mother had been in a mental health facility and had taken drugs through out her pregnancy. I was all ready to hear a story about how challenging the kid was … how the adoptive family struggled with his behavior … how …
Instead she finished her story by saying, “… but the family stuck with him and you should see him now! He’s a fine young man”. It is so nice to hear a story about adoption turn out well. It could be that because she’s 76 years old enough time has passed to see the whole experience or it could be that she is a just a positive person, but whatever the reason I really appreciated hearing a story about struggle that ended well.
What good things have you heard about adoption?