Passport Drama for Adoption #2

passport map

With the first adoption, we had a copy of the original birth certificate. We got the photos at AAA for $7. The Wednesday after finalization, we took our adoption order, the application we filled out, and the other paperwork and went to the library to turn in everything. The person that took the paperwork was very kind. We had a passport for the 1 year old within two weeks.

This time around, things are a bit different. We were given an original birth certificate for this baby but we moved ….  and now I can’t find it. When I asked our adoption worker for another one, she said they couldn’t give it to me due to privacy concerns (we already had one) which made me shake my head. All we have is the adoption finalization paperwork and the medical files from the birth.

When I asked my adoption group if we’d be able to get a passport with that information, the responses ranged from “just take the original birth certificate” (which is no help) to “get your attorney to get it for you” (which is also no help).

Yesterday, our adoption worker called to see if we want to keep our case open or close it. She casually asked where we’re taking our babies (after finalization last time, we took our baby to South Africa) and I told her, “No where”. My plan was to wait the six to twelve months until her amended birth certificate came in and then visit somewhere. She said that she’s had several adoptive families get a passport after finalization with just the two documents that we got after court. She said to make color copies (don’t give the originals to the passport folks) to turn in with the application.

She sounded so sure.

I’m making an appointment for next week. We shall see.


Cesarean Socials Are a Thing


A woman in an online group I’m in asked about a cute name for a party to celebrate a mom that’s having a cesarean. I’m sure we’ll all heard of Push Parties. Many women give birth by pushing a baby down the birth canal …  but not all women. She wanted to be celebrated for carrying life and birthing by cesarean but wanted a cute name.

When I Googled “cesarean party” what came up were articles about how having a cesarean was no picnic and was the easy way of giving birth. While those articles are valid, it wasn’t really what I was looking for. Eventually, I looked up synonyms for “party” and chose something that sounded good together. Viola, you have the cesarean Social!

I’m pretty excited about it. I can’t wait for a friend to have a baby via c section so I can throw my first Cesarean Social!  =)


My Grandpa Loved Me

I just got a letter in the mail saying that the insurance policy that my grandfather purchased for me needed to have the contact information updated. What?

It turns out that he purchased the policy when I was 4 years old. My grandparents and great grandparents bought me savings bonds and tried to make sure that I would have a good start in life. They loved me.

I’m not saying this to say that if you don’t do those things, you don’t love your kids. I’m saying it to say that  …  they loved me and showed it by doing things that would make my life easier.

I am doing the same for my kids by purchasing them stock and contributing to their college savings plans. I hope my kids feel loved when they realize that we have been plotting on giving them a good life since before they were born.

Help Kids Regulate Emotions


I saw this on a friend’s webpage and I wanted to save it for my kids:

I found this exercise for children rather inspired to help them learn about emotion regulation and normalizing negative emotions for their temporary necessity. I like this for teaching kids there are many normal negative or unpleasant emotions other than anger.

You need: Bubbles

Have your child blow as many bubbles as they want, and let them know that these bubbles are representing all of their negative feelings. This could be sadness, anger, fear… tell them to visualize all of these things going away as the bubbles float on through the air. Once they’re done, repeat the following:

Sadness, tears, worry fears, thank you for you.
You’ve been helpful and you’ve been true.
Into these bubbles it’s you I blow,
So I can smile and let you go!

Remember to talk to them about bottling up emotions and how it’s important to talk through them and let them fly away!

Mother’s Day 2017

African American toddler is excited because her sister called her.


Ah …  Mother’s Day. A day I loathe. I wake up and everyone is talking about their mothers and sharing photos of their mothers and I ..   have nothing.

My mom is dead.

My grandma is dead.

I think about it more today because it’s being shoved in my face. This morning I cried. Then I cried some more. Then I held my daughter … and cried. Then I held my partner … and cried.

Ugh ….

Then I saw that I missed six texts from my sister. She was sending me an Amazon Fresh delivery and wanted to know what I wanted. She said that since today is Mother’s Day, she thought she’d save me a chore. How sweet is that?

That led to an offer to host the finalization party for our daughter at her house.

We chatted for a bit and by the time we got off the phone, I felt much better.

I wanted to hug her through the phone.


Bubble Run 2017

Yesterday, we loaded up both families and headed out to the Bubble Run …  again. My partner and I both used babywearing to get us through the 5k (3 mile) walk. My sister’s kids are older and took off and soon as we got through the first batch of bubbles. Lol

My partner didn’t want to walk with my sister and I, so took off with Baby Girl in the mei tei.


I had the boy in an ssc and took off down the trail with my sister.


It was fun but it was a loooooooong three miles. Lol



Afterward, we grabbed some Jamaican food and then hit up a thrift store. It was a good day.

Haircare: We’ve Turned a Corner


The last three times I’ve done Baby Girl’s hair she hasn’t complained. Whoo hoo!

I think conditioning it in the shower may have helped. I used to:

Wash with baby shampoo.

Dry hair.

Apply refined cold-pressed coconut oil.

Style hair.

Sometimes she would stand it for a bit but if it was tangled, she would lose it. One time I decided to see if conditioning it with my conditioner would help and … it seems like it did.

I condition it right after washing and detangle with my fingers in the shower. The first time I put two ponytails with twists and a “bang” ponytail in the front. The second time, I did afro puffs. This afternoon, I did two French braids. No crying. She played with her bag of hair accessories.

I think we’re in business!