Second Adoption: Finalization Date


This is why folks don’t like working with the county: no one knows what anyone else is doing.

We received an email from our daughter’s social worker saying that she needed to come by the house for May’s visit. At the finalization paperwork signing, our adoption worker told us that there would be no more visits from the social worker and that we’d be dealing with her from here on out. In the email, she mentioned that finalization was “around the corner” but we didn’t have a date yet. Huh?

I forwarded the email to our adoption worker. Her reply was that finalization was scheduled and the social worker needed to visit again. My guess is because she’ll be on vacation?

Anyhoo … in a round about way, we found out our finalization date, that she won’t be able to attend (again) and the social worker that I wanted to punch in the face will be there. Ah …  friggin’ … some!




New Worker – Email


I just received an email saying that our baby has a new worker. Our first baby went through three social workers before finally being transferred over to adoptions so the email didn’t surprise me at first. She said that she needed to see the baby before the end of the month (that’s in like …  four days) and asked if we could drive out to her office.

We have nothing booked for the next few days, so driving out there isn’t an issue …  but instead of replying, I just kept staring at the email …  and then I saw it.

Instead of her signature line saying foster care (or something like it), it says “Adoptions”. I was really hoping that we’d have the same adoption worker as last time. I love her! She’s experienced, we have a similar parenting style, and she’s honest about what’s coming up and the time frames that we should expect. This lady might be cool too but …. I was really hoping to work with that same lady again. She called about our first placement. She met us at the hospital. She came and snuggled the baby for hours on end. She called about our second placement. She encouraged us to do our due diligence. She advised us on transitioning the baby from her foster placement to our house …  it’s only right that she be there at this finalization too.

Ahhhh …  so goes the adoption from foster care roller coaster.




Our Family Recognized


Our adoption worker had to present a case at a regional meeting and she chose ours! I wrote up a little about experience and she presented it at the meeting. I guess it went well because I just received this phone message from her supervisor:

I just wanted to say thank you for sending that right up over about your experience. I had an opportunity tonight or today to share that with all of our our entire region, and it was received very well everyone has a really pleased and excited for your daughter and for your son, and really just excited to have you guys as a part of our team as well, so thank you again for the ride up, and thank you for loving on these babies.

Isn’t that cool? We don’t do anything special in our house. I tend to think our home is full of chaos (2 babies and a HUGE pup!) and craziness. We do babywear, use baby-led weaning, and other crunchy tactics but mostly we just chill with our family. It’s good to hear that though our family isn’t perfect, and is a bit small and broken, it’s good …  yeah …  still good.


Social Worker #3 Touching Baby

Baby-TouchingWhile on the road we got a call saying that this person was the baby’s new social worker and that she’d arrive at our house at 2pm. Really?

#1 We weren’t in the city.

#2 Regular people have jobs so even if we were in the city, wouldn’t she have assumed that we’d be at work?

Anyhoo … I called her back and we decided that she’d come this morning at 8:30am. We got in at 9pm last night and were up early this morning straightening up for this new social worker.

The door bell range around 8:45am. We open the door to find … a different social worker. Apparently, our new social worker was busy and sent this other person to do her monthly visit. This is the baby’s third social worker (emergency – LOVED!, transitional – she was okay, finalization – still have to find out) and, as I understand it, this one should be his last one. I am really glad that this one is not his regular one. Ugh!

She persisted upon touching his face and mussing his hair …. grabbing his feet. It was so uncomfortable. I know that her job is to check on him, but it was so difficult for me not to snatch him back from her. Is this normal? What kind of touching does your social worker do when they visit?

Visit With the Social Worker

The baby’s social worker came by today. She said that she hopes it will be the last time that she sees us. The termination of parental rights hearing is coming up in January. If everything proceeds like we think it will, then parental rights will be terminated and we’ll move on to the formal adoption.


New Social Worker

Team-AdditionI really, really, really liked the team that we had in place but because the foster-adopt process is moving along one of our workers had to change. We still have our adoption worker, but his social worker was an emergency social worker (the person that removes children) and now he has a back-end social worker. She said that she’ll be with us until October when his termination of parental rights hearing and 6 month review hearing is. After that we’ll only have our adoption worker.

With the first team, I would send photos and silly videos periodically because I wanted to share those special moments with them. I’m not sure what relationship I’ll have with the new social worker.

She came over and saw the baby yesterday. She was ….  okay. It seemed like she wasn’t as interested/emotionally involved as the other worker. We’ll only have her until October so I guess we shouldn’t get involved either, but ….  I miss his old social worker already.

When we finalize I’m going to invite the original team.