Secular Rally in NYC

Apparently, the Black Nonbelievers and the Black Atheists of America will be hosting the first ever outdoor Rally/Celebration that will predominantly feature nontheists of color.

The event is free. Yep, there is NO COST to hang out with others that think like you. Did you think that you were the only one? Nope! Come on out:

Date: July 27, 2013
Time: 12-6 pm
Location: Flushing Meadows Park

Everyone loves a cook-out, so mark your calendars now. Find out who will be there and all the deets by clicking here.

Join Black atheists, nonbelievers and humanists at the first ever Blackout Event in NYC.

 

Getting a Warrant Vacated … During an Adoption

The Background

In March we found out that I had a warrant for my arrest from our adoption worker. Aaagh! I was stopped for speeding in 2009 and totally forgot about it. Apparently, it turned into a failure to appear and bench warrant in 2010. The adoption worker said that we couldn’t move forward with the adoption while I had a warrant.

When I first heard about the warrant i freaked out! I wasn’t sure what to do, so I Googled, “failure to appear warrant” and tons of pages from attorneys came up. All the pages said that you have to get an attorney when you have a warrant because if you even show up to pay it you can be arrested.

The First Play

I went down to the courthouse to see if I could just pay it. The transit clerk told me that I couldn’t pay it because I had a bench warrant out. She scheduled me to appear in court December 26th. Yes, that’s December …. as in 9 months away from March! I asked her if I could do anything about the warrant at least and she said that there was nothing that she could do. A judge would have to vacate the warrant. Ugh! I needed it done before that so we could move on with the adoption.

The Second Option

The first attorney I called said that he could get the warrant vacated and everything taken care of for $3,500. He said that he would have to make a call to get it “on the calendar” and …. I don’t remember. As soon as I heard, “$3,500″ I stopped listening.

The second attorney I called said that she could get the warrant vacated and everything taken care of for, “$2,000 … most likely”. Hmmm …

The Solution

We have a friend from college that has three sisters that are attorneys. As soon as He told him the deal, he suggested that we call one of his sisters. After I told her about the speeding, failure to appear and warrant she told me to show up at the court and pay it. She laughed when I mentioned that I could be arrested. She said that of course I could be arrested, but they have more important matters to deal with.

I went down to the courthouse again on Thursday. After standing in line for about an hour, I reached the transit clerk. This time I spoke with a AWESOME guy that told me that to be seen the same day I needed to:

1) Have some kind of paperwork that proved that I needed to be seen asap.

2) Be one of the first 5 people in line to be tacked on to the day’s proceedings.

Whoo hoo!

What Happened

We went home and planned to leave the house at 3:30am to make it to the line by 5am. When we arrived it was pitch black and we were the first in line! YES! When we went up to the counter, we got a different transit clerk that told us:

1) The warrant had be vacated in March when I set the appointment to see the judge. He actually laughed and said that of course they’d have to vacate the warrant, because if not I could be arrested if I was ever stopped.

2) They could get me in today after all the scheduled folks.

There were 80 scheduled folks. It took about an hour for me to be called. The judge asked me how I pled and I said, “No contest”. He reduced the failure to appear from $700 to $25. With all the fines and fees I had to pay $555.

The Revelation

I walked back to the transit clerk that I spoke with on Thursday and paid my fine. He gave me a piece of paper that had the information from the judge on it and receipt.I asked him to give me a printout saying that the warrant had been vacated and he looked at me like I was stupid. He said that the warrant had been vacated since MARCH when I scheduled the court date!

Done and done. That’s it. They were gonna charge me between $2,000 and $3.500 for …. ?? PLUS, as officers of the court they had to know that I didn’t have an active warrant when I called because I told them that I had already scheduled a court appearance.

Also, the first clerk that scheduled the date should have know, no? UGH!

I’m SUPER glad that we didn’t end up shelling out for an attorney for no reason. I’m SUPER glad that this is taken care of. I’m SUPER glad that we are one step closer to having a little on in our home.

 

 

 

2nd Half of Home Study …. Done!

We’re one step closer …

Sooooo … today we did the 2nd half of our home study to adopt from foster care. We each had an individual two-hour  interview scheduled at the DFCS office. This one was so much better than our intake interview! She didn’t condescend to me. She let me finish my thoughts. She didn’t make assumptions about my mother being an alcoholic, my father being schizophrenic, me being in foster care or me being molested.

I have no idea if she thought I was a fruitcake, but at least she let me give my side of things. Lol Hopefully all went well and we’re one step closer. Actually, this was the last big step before a placement, no? After she gets everything typed up, as long as she doesn’t think we’re fruitcakes, she’s gonna send it up to Sacramento and then we’re ready to accept a placement, no?

Mother’s Day eCards for Activisits, Blacks, Latinos, First Nation People, Etc.

What a great idea!

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve searched for a card to give a loved one that accurately reflects our relationship. Born day (birthday, earthday, etc.), graduation, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day and the like all find me searching the isles like the cure for cancer is buried in one of those little pockets full of cards with smiling white people or sugary sweet words that don’t reflect how I feel. The Mahogany Cards? Ugh! They are either religious or too “sassy” (giiiirl!) for my taste.

Finally I found some cards that speak to me. Strong Families has come up with a line of eCards that celebrate different families and make an effort to put into words all of the different emotions that people in family groups have for each other. Love it!

Here are a few of my favorites below:

Check out all of the Strong Families cards.

 

 

 

 

London Adoptive Mother Forces Teen Daughter to Get Pregnant

I just read about this on Madame Nior. It’s a case about an adoptive mother that adopted three kids. When she couldn’t adopt a fourth kid, she forced her daughter to carry a baby for her.

Reading this is so sad:

The daughter told investigators she was pretty shocked when her mother asked her to willingly get pregnant but also thought, “if I do this … maybe she will love me more.” She also said “feelings of gratitude for my adoption influenced how I behaved.”

Wanna know what’s worse:

Over the years there were several instances where the authorities and child welfare services were called out to the house when neighbors complained of the mother’s inappropriate behavior toward the children like cussing them out, isolating them from peers and leaving them in the home alone while she was being treated in the hospital for a month.

Each time, the authorities found that there was no cause for concern.

The girl finally got some help:

The mother’s evil and selfish plot was only discovered after midwives reported her aggressive and insensitive behavior during her daughter’s labor. The midwives say that mother tried to prevent the daughter from breastfeeding the baby saying, “we don’t want any of that attachment thing.” They also noticed how the daughter hesitated when handing the baby over to her mother. They called child protective services when the mother attempted to remove the baby from the ward.

Thank goodness the woman is now serving jail time. She obviously has some crazy shit going on mental health issues. Ugh.

The story really reminds me of the Law & Order: SVU episode where a mother had sex with two men, “collected” their sperm and used it to inseminate her daughter so the family could have more children. Remember that one? I guess art does sometimes imitate fiction … and all these years I was hoping that those stories were coming from someone’s mind …. and not the news …. the world we live in. SMH

 

 

Second Home Study Interview Rescheduled

This photo is from Universal Studios last month, but we look happy and determined so I’m using it for this post! Lol

At last!

Our adoption home study was scheduled for April 18th. We were up and getting dressed … about to leave when … the supervisor called and said that our adoption worker had an emergency and couldn’t meet with us that morning. Booooo!

We’ve gone back and forth  leaving messages for each other, but finally we have another appointment scheduled. May 2nd it is! This one will be our individual interviews. On the one hand I’m not that worried about it because I LOVE our adoption worker. On the other hand,  I’m sure she’ll want to talk about my childhood (sexual abuse at 6, foster care from 13 – 17 …. especially since we’re adopting from foster care. Eek!) and will be trying to figure out if I’m a fruit loop! Lol I like ot think that I’m not but she’s the professional! Lol

Anyhoo … I’m at least happy that it’s been scheduled.

=)

 

Adoptive Family, Biological Family and Friends Tree

Love, love, love this! As you know, I’ve been a fan of family trees but I’ve often wondered how to incorporate all of the people that are part of our family into an image when not all of us are related by blood. Well, this is the answer!

I saw the post on OffbeatFamilies and this is a great explanation:

What about a family forest? Forests have their own sense of unity that I think you could make into something special. All growing on the same little plot of land, or something…

Isn’t that great? This tree really speaks to the reality of adoption. I love the idea of us all being separate biologically, but all being joined by the act of loving each other. In our family, we believe that loving someone is a choice and our little band of loved ones has chosen to be a family. I’m super glad that I found this image. Yay!